


if this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear

by wildforwyld



Series: You With The Sad Eyes [2]
Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Birthday Presents, Breakfast, Cats, D.Min's Birthday Week, Gen, Intrusive Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29597907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildforwyld/pseuds/wildforwyld
Summary: His birthday present is here, and such an unexpected, yet appreciated surprise it is.2 of 7, D.Min's Birthday Week
Relationships: Kang Dongho | D.Min & His Cat
Series: You With The Sad Eyes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2172609
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7
Collections: D.Min Birthday Week 2021





	if this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear

Veiled in airy sleepiness, so numb yet so vivid, Dongho looks down at himself. Or rather, he tries. His eyes won’t follow his will, and instead flicker from face to face to face. It’s so loud, yet so softly silent.

Dae slams white and pink clenched fists down against the taupe wood grain of the table, rattling small pieces of various Christmas shades against a square of spring green. Minsoo, across the table, stands up along with them.

Their mouths are moving, and their eyebrows are furrowed, but then—

Why can’t he hear them? They look like they’re arguing...But Jaewon’s laughing. The same, layered, erupting laughter that lands on the ear like petals on grass. It brings peace to all who it reaches, calming them, soothing them. 

But he can’t hear it.

Dongho wakes up with a jerk, and upon realizing he was only kicking blankets, wipes his stinging eyes and rises from the plush nest of his bed. It’s only 6 AM, on the day after his birthday...but he’s gotten used to getting up early after late nights awake. This should be no different. And it isn’t.

Minsoo isn’t in the room, or the bathroom, when he looks around to check. Neither is Dae, who is absent from the unusually silent halls. 

The halls, Dongho would say, are his favorite part of the dorm. Not because of any particular physical aspect, but rather because no matter the circumstances, he’s comfortable. Whether it’s filled with happy cheers, or the cool silence and accentuated slippery floors, or air that was once thick with tension, and then automatically fizzled and dissipated.

He walks into the kitchen. Nobody’s there but Wyld, holding a cup of coffee. He always seems to have coffee with him, doesn’t he?

“Jaewon,” The elder calls, “Have you seen Dae?”

“No, I haven’t. Why?”

“Just asking.”

As Jaewon passes by him through the entrance to the kitchen, Dongho rubs his eyes again, attempting to shake the sleep from his eyes. Might as well get a good breakfast, even if it isn’t his birthday anymore.

God, how surreal it is getting older. Sure, the time has flown by, but why can’t he remember feeling it? All those countless years, gone where?

_ ‘Down the drain,’ _ a voice growls,  _ ‘Just like everyone told you it would. And you thought you’d be different, huh?’ _

_ ‘Yeah, I did. But at least I believed,’ _ Dongho whispers his response. There’s no bitterness, no bite in his heart. He doesn’t even know what it is himself.

With lissome fingers and quick, fluid motions, he picks out a carton of eggs, leftover rice, and assorted vegetables. He hasn’t had egg fried rice in a while.

The crackling of his food in the pan always comforts him. Jeongmin used to make this for him, back when they lived in the same home. Dongho takes special care to use a wooden spoon to sweep it into his plate without letting any make it out of the pan onto the floor. He’d rather not begin his day with a mess.

Dongho expertly nudges the last bit into his plate before setting the frying pan down to cool, so the humidity in the sink doesn’t ruin the metal. He doesn’t  _ really _ know if it actually has any ruinous effect, but it’s worth keeping good care of, just in case.

He takes his plate and fresh cup of coffee to the balcony. The wind whistles in his ear and blows through his hair, but he doesn’t mind. Today’s different. He doesn’t know why, it just is. Almost as if he’s in a picture show, from how idyllic an image he probably makes, sitting so calmly with his breakfast outside on a balcony.

The mug of coffee almost itches in his hand. Ah, of course. His creative mind never fails to wander into dark areas, no matter how hard he tries to keep it. Intrusive thoughts, he learned, are not reflective of your inner desires.

And yet, he doesn’t mind indulging in them once in a while. What would happen if he dumped all of it down, down onto the pavement below? And if it hit a person? He’d imagine there’d be somebody to see it.

Of course, he’d never test that out. No, only crazies do that. But you can’t blame him for wondering, for being interested in the boundaries of his abilities. It’s the same curious element that embodies those that watch true crime documentaries. A  _ morbid curiosity _ , fearing yet fascinated by the unknown that haunts from the dark. 

How would you feel, knowing the person next to you had these thoughts? You’d move away, wouldn’t you? But you don’t look at yourself, or recognize when you yourself imagine coming home to see your family murdered, and how you’d react. The human mind is a strange thing, and only fools truly believe it can be defined.

Dongho finishes his meal and takes his dishes back to the kitchen before picking up the cooled-down frying pan to place it in the sink along with the rest as he begins to wash them. The front door opens as he does so, and Dongho remains fixed where he is, not bothering to check if it’s Dae or Minsoo.

It turns out to be both of them. Of course, how could he forget? They said they were going to pick up their gift for him. But how could they afford anything warranting a pick-up? Dae was barely able to even buy their groceries last week, with how terrible he is at being financially responsible.

The two men walk in the living room, searching for Dongho as they announce their arrival. Dongho can barely catch a glimpse of their baggage.

It looks like a pet carrier. Dongho’s heart races with a guess at what it is. There’s a chance it’s not what he thinks it is, but his heart never listens to his brain, no matter how much he attempts to lower his expectations. He has no shame in trying to save himself from bitter disappointment.

“Ah, Dongho!”

“...wouldn’t stop scratching, that piece of shit—” Minsoo grumbles as Dae greets his hyung, running over and seizing his shoulders. 

Something within the black haired male rises, like a helium filled balloon. That’s definitely what he thinks it is. There’s just no way it’s not, that has to be what he wants it to be. How did they manage—?!

“Happy Birthday, hyung!” Daehyun cheers, as Wyld just now walks into the room, a fading, easy-going smile on his lips. 

Dae reaches down to open the carrier, releasing the beast. As expected, out walks a small, tuxedo coat kitten.

It’s the picture of innocence, with how silently it steps, and it’s paws so small and gently stepping, leaving no sign it had ever been there in the first place. Dongho practically melts.

Grinning for the first time in a week, Dongho profusely thanks his two group mates, who nod in acceptance of credit, but point at Wyld and cough, “Thank Jaewon. It was his idea.”

Dongho simply nods at him, smiling at each other with tired, yet thrilled eye contact.

The cat before him runs around the room, tumbling and exploring. Every step it takes is just a boost in its energy, rather than something to chip away at it. The feline’s claws extend, sinking into the threads of the arm of the couch, and its fur stands up in a frenzy. Dongho’s not seen a cat as energetic on their first introduction to a home as this one. It’s almost as if he were watching a child after their fifth piece of candy at a party, screaming and laughing in pure, unadulterated and unalloyed delight. It was an image of happiness that one could envy, but no longer achieve.

Dongho manages to pick up the cat, excusing them both as he takes it over to his bedroom, wincing still at the kitten’s claws drawing blood as it digs into his thumb, attempting to push itself out of his grasp. He closes the door and releases the ball of energy, watching as it hops onto the bed and scrambles to hide under a pillow.

Smiling, the black haired man collapses onto his bed face first before turning over, examining this kitten’s big, blue eyes. It—he—looks nothing like Boba.

Well, maybe just a bit. They both have too-long whiskers, ones that tickle his cheeks every time he tries to kiss them (which isn’t often, as you might guess, but often enough that he remembers it). 

He had had Boba for years, before he was euthanized just a couple months before. Boba had been with him ever since Dongho was a kid, and he a kitten. 

God he’s been there for him all his _ life _ , he—

A comforting heat of tears gathers in the corners of his eyes, spilling over down the side of his face as he leans back, his hair swept back and pressed against his sheets. The kitten, who now seems to discover the human crying just half a meter away from him, pounces on his chest and bounces off, before slowly crawling back on, peering at his owner’s face.

Dongho almost laughs. He’s so cute. He sits up, placing the cat in his lap, just as he jumps off and begins to roll around. The dark haired male seated on his bed erupts into tearful chuckles, so bitterly remembering Boba in his kittenhood.

But Boba’s gone now. Boba’s dead and he ought to recognize it before it consumes him. Now he has this kitten, not here to erase those old memories, but to add to them. 

It’s time he moves on from what he had, and recognizes that this nameless kitten is a part of his future now.

**Author's Note:**

> [LiT Fic Discord](https://discord.gg/JAXtejPa9C)


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